An Overdose Of Laughter

This is for you.

2012-01-07T15:03:00.003+08:00

YOU YES YOU!

First of all I'd like to ask you,
ARE YOU A MAN?

Does a man compare himself to another man
whenever he feels inferior or does he
improves himself to be a better person
despite knowing that nobody is perfect?

Does a man break promises as easy as a glass
can or does he keep to it knowing that his girl
never takes his words or promises for granted?

Does a man have low self-esteem or does he
try to at least know that his girl looks at him
like how she never does towards other guys and know
that she will accept him despite his flaws?

Does a man rely on his wife to make decisions for him
when he knows he's the head of the family, the sole-breadwinner
and the one who's suppose to inculcate what's right
and wrong into his family's lives or does he
trust his own instincts knowing that whatever he decides,
his family will go along with him and when all fails,
whatever reason it may be, no matter what, his family is
always going to stick by to him?

So tell me, are you really a man or are you just a
little boy who's stuck in a developed body?

No, I won't tell you to grow up. I have no right to
say that. Who am I, right?

But one thing that I'll tell you is that,
if you're not working towards any of this,
trust me... you will never be a man with respect towards
others or yourself.

That's all I have to say.

Here we go again.

2012-01-07T14:52:00.003+08:00

When I thought every of the negative has
ended, it has started all over again.
I've tried so much not to lose my
grip but apparently, I can no longer do so.

It hurts so much knowing that I've put so
much effort and then failing over and over
AGAIN.

When will I ever learn?
My feelings of anger and distrust is just
to test out my level of patience over a
particular situation but apparently I
over-use it and make situations even more
complicated than it already is.

I have learnt not to blame anyone but myself
for everything that's happening because why?
Because no one lives my life for me.
I make a decision and I bear with my own consequences.

One question though,
out of all this, what do I get? Nothing.
So how am I supposed to eliminate all these
troubles happening in my life?
Am I suppose to run away from my problems
or am I supposed to act like nothing's wrong or
am I suppose to walk away from people?
Tell me what to do because right now,
I have got to be the most clueless person ever.

I'm trying to hold on tight to whatever's left of
me that is strong enough to pull this through alone.
yes, Alone.
Won't depend on anyone in particular anymore.
The people we love are the ones that will
hurt us the most.

Never knew I could be feeling this way.

Reminiscence

2011-09-25T08:54:00.002+08:00

Another year of the final exams approaching
us students. As I sit back on my chair,
I think about all the past opportunities I had
and how I ruined it. How I blatantly
ignored helping myself in my own
studies.

So many chances. And I had to not take them
all so seriously.

It's tough having to watch all my friends
promote and then I'm the only one left hanging.
I felt so lonely and empty.
I felt as though I was an epic failure in life.
That's how miserable having to retain feels like.
That's a feeling which no one should ever ever
experience.
It just sucks all your happiness away for
days or maybe weeks.
You'll feel so down, you won't even touch
your food.
You'll just end up crying alone at night,
in your bed, just wishing you did what you
could to save your own future.
And then reality strikes... YOU DIDNT.

I felt that way and I hated every single bit
of it. The agonising pain was just too much
too handle, mentally.

And so, here I am on my desk, facing
piles and piles of my notes, trying my utmost
best to sponge all the info in my brain.
All I'm thinking is "I NEED TO PROMOTE BECAUSE
IF I DON'T I'LL DISAPPOIINT MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS
AND ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVES IN ME"

Let's pray for the best that what I'm doing will
be fruitful.

Failure should not let you stop
rooting for success but instead crave
for more opportunities to et back on track and
prove them all wrong.

Insya'allah.

Salam, Nadz.

Exams exams exams!

2011-09-19T23:01:00.004+08:00

Alright, this is gonna be a rather short post.
Specially for bontotman.
Farhan afiq Bin Jaafar,
ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR PROMO 2!
I know you'll do good and
pass with flying colours,
you genius! heh. Love you.

All the best to the rest too
for their exams and whatever not.

Salam, Nadz.
Told ya it's gonna be a short post.

Life Changing.

2011-09-16T22:13:00.003+08:00

Love them all too much! <3 :)

On Wednesday, my parents, Sara,
Farhan and I, was invited to
my brother's finale for his seminar.
One word = Beautiful.
It was an amazing experience.

It was wonderful having to hear the participants
share their life changing experiences with
all of us. It really just touched me.
It somehow made me realise that I'm
not the only one in this world who
thinks I have the worst problems ever.
Everyone goes through challenges in their
lives, it's just how you react to it that
makes you stronger than the others.

Now I fully understand why Abang wanted to
attend this seminar badly.
It's a seminar where it improves you to be a better
person. For yourself and your loved ones.

We (well, technically abang)
finally told mum and dad on why we sold
lollipops to people.
For those of you who don't know
why we've been doing so, here's the reason.

It has been a really long time since our parents
and us went on a holiday together. A proper one.
We are always busy with work and school.
So, as one of his projects, Abang decided that
we should gain funds so that we can bring
mum and dad out for a holiday by air.
To cut short, one of our ways was actually
to sell lollipops to strangers, friends and
family.

Abang is an amazing person. He doesn't
put himself before others. Especially mum and dad.
That's why he's the best brother anyone can ever get.
And mum and dad. Well, they deserve this after
a whole lot of sacrifices for us.

Mum and dad are touched. :')

I'm hoping that this turns out to be a success.
I'm still selling the lollies.
So, if you guys wanna help out, please
feel free to come and see me. heh.
We need as much help as we can possibly get.

For those who have already helped,
from the bottom of my heart,
a BIG THANK YOU to all of you beautiful
kind souls.
Your little deed of buying those lollies
can actually create a beautiful experince
for my family and I. Insya'Allah.

<3

Salam, Nadz.

Semamat Hayi Yaya!:)

2011-09-10T11:14:00.012+08:00

On the first day of raya, Abang Sofian
and I wore white. I love white!
It just shows pureness you know.
We went to three houses.
It wasn't as much fun as last year's because
everyone came at different timings:(
But, meeting the family once more was
AWESOME.

That Sunday, about 1/4 no .. 1/6 of my
family came over. Wow, was it as hectic as ever!
Cooked lotsa food and Alhamdulillah they liked it.
hehe. Really had fun bonding with Abang Nadzri (my
first brother). Yeah, he wasnt in the picture below.
My cute nieces and nephews came too!
Honestly, mum and I wasn't expecting that much people
cause usually only my brothers and sisters would
come over. BUT this year was different and the
BOMBXZXZ.

This was half of the guests that came over. The rest
left. Yes, my family is that BIG. And yes, the guests
were only 1/6 of my family in overall. hah.

The week after, on Monday, my family and I went to
about 4 houses in total. Oh and my aunty.
My wak(s) and Natt's(niece).
oh, including Farhan's house:) hee.
Had lotsa fun especially at Wak Noor's house. See the
pic below? Those are my nieces and nephews(I think)
THEY ARE ADORABLE.
At Natt's house, we waited for Abang Sofian to
reach from school then the four of us headed to
BLK 390. haha Farhan's place.
Enjoyed myself there. Alhamdulillah our
parents could bond well. Oh,
and his grandma was really cute please:)
I like her smile:)
Cik Nora cooked mee bakso which was AWESOME:)
Then headed home after that.
What an awesome day that day was!

So here comes the AWESOMEST DAY EVER.
The day when my friends from the VICO club and
A4 ex classmates came over to my house.
Really had fun with them around!
People who came?

Farhan, Ralph, Sara, Shreedhya, Deepan, Kishen
and Sebastian.

Sorry Kishy for forgetting that you're a vegetarian.

Then, Ralph, Deepan, Kishen and Shreedz
had to leave early so it was just Farhan, Sara, my dad
and I.

We sang, played the guitar, piano and did
lotsa fun stuff! However, sorry guys, my house lacks
of english songs to karaoke. HAHA.
It was really fun having to spend time at home with
them!:)My dad was there to join in the fun too.
(For a while) haha.

Yes, Farhan and I dressed in orange<3
hehe.

Oh, and we went for a spin around the neighbourhood.
Was the first time I drove with my friends in the car.
Hah. Had fun throughout the whole journey!:))
I am sooo gonna get my license soon!

Headed back home, took more pics.
WITH my dad in it! hahaha He's so cute plese.
Just look at his smile!:)

Then, had to fetch my mum, so
we sent the boys to city square cause they wanted to shop
and we bid goodbyes!
(Something I didn't wanna do.)
After fetching mum, went to a mama chops papa grill
for dinner. Treated the family.
Alhamdulillah rezeki.
Got myself lambchops! yum yum my fav!
Didnt take a pic of it though.
Was too hungry that I ate it first before the
thought of taking a picture came! haha.

yeah, overall, it was a splendid day!:)
Was really elated and happy.
What would I do without my friends and family?

Hope my hosting was good enough though.
And hope they all enjoyed it.
Though, I'm still sad that some couldnt make it.
It's okay guys, next year okay!:)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!:)

Salam, Nadz.

Love's a messy game.

2011-09-04T01:23:00.005+08:00

I'm writing this blog post
with tears rolling down my eyes.
I miss you.
But, I won't say it to you.

I don't get why I am feeling this way.
About you. About us. About me.
I'm doubting everything that we have ever
promised each other.
I've never really felt this low in a
really long time. And now that I am,
I hate every single bit of it.

This is stupid.
Feelings are stupid.
I tell myself not to care about this anymore
but I can't.
I guess this is what happens when the
feeling's too strong to be ignored huh?

Right now, I feel like I don't know who you are
anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore.
It's as though we don't exist in each other's world.
I don't know what you're doing or what's going on
anymore.
All I want to do is cry.

This is too emotional for me to handle.
I don't know why I'm caught up in my own feelings.
I see your face, I see our videos.
Part of me is telling me "that's the guy I fell in
love with"
Part of me is going "What happened to us?"
:'(

I try to hide my feelings deep inside but
honestly, I can't.
This is the only medium that I can translate my
emotions to words.

I'm trying to forget this phase but I can't.
I just can't.

Now, "sorry" means nothing to me.
"I love you" doesn't solve everything anymore.

I'm losing faith.
Save me quick because I'll drown soon enough.

Nadz.

Eid Mubarak 2011.

2011-08-30T07:27:00.002+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims.
Today marks the day that we've(muslims)
been working hard for.
The day that we've awaited after a whole
month of fasting.

Hari Raya is not just about celebrating
and having fun. It's about knowing that you
did your best in showing Allah what you're
worth and it's about the effort you put in
in fasting. And this effort should all be put in
during the fasting period/month.

There's really no point in celebrating Hari Raya
if you don't even find the beauty of Ramadhan
first.

But whatever it is, Eid Mubarak to everyone.

Forgive me for my sins and wrongdoings.
If I have ever hurt you, I sincerely, from the
bottom of my heart, apologise.
On this day, I seek your forgiveness and I
hope you have a wonderful day ahead.

Salam, Nadz.

PS: 3 years, I miss you :'(

I miss you.

2011-08-28T01:35:00.002+08:00

As Hari Raya is nearing,
the thought and memories of you keep
on appearing in my mind. It's been
years since you left and I'm still
thinking about you. You were
a strong man. Someone who never
fails to spreads his happiness around.

I still remembered how you love to keep cats.
You loved them like your own children.
I still remember the way you talk walk and
laugh.

Hmm, I should stop thinking about this.
I got to learn how to let go.

May Allah be with you,
Uncle Haron.

Nationals.

2011-08-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

So, what have I been up to till this
point of time in my life?
Well, let's see.

Oh, Combined Schools tournament is over
and done with. Congrats to us all for
getting 2nd placing. Quite and achievement
with the exception of CS team's participation
for the first time.

So, recently, urm Nabs, Nazar and I
got chosen for Nationals. However, after
much contemplating, I decided that it's
not gonna be a good idea for me. Why?
Well, my examintions are coming a a few weeks
time and I can't afford to lose my focus.
I've been given too many chances, however
I've not been proving to anyone that I deserved
those chances.
I seriously need to get a grip of myself.
FOCUS. The key to everything.

Love life?
Oh, let's just say we're more in love with
each other yeah? Love doesn't stop just there.
It grows even at levels we didn't think existed.

School has been a major factor to me being so
tired nowadays. I can't even keep my eyes open.
But, I'm trying my best to keep up with my studies.
And I hope it'll all be worth it. Insya'Allah.

I miss my clique in secondary school.
I miss my teachers.
I miss my best/close friends.
I miss the camp instructors.
I miss 4E1'09.
I miss Fuchun.
I miss Thevi.
I miss Fzn.
I miss Maxine.
I miss Fareha.
I miss Abang Has.
I miss SCLs.
I miss everyone.
I miss you.

That's said, I'm done.

The Eyes Lie.

2011-08-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

I don't want to believe what I see.
Because the eyes lie.
I hate it when I see what I don't wish to
and I end up feeling very emotional.
Sometimes, I see sights that hurts me a lot.
But I know it's just my mind playing around with
my inter-emotions.

I try to lock away these unwanted feelings of mine.
Cause I know it'll cause a havoc if
I depend on them too much.
And because the eyes lie, I don't want to
fall under it's traps.

As repeated again and again, I'm the kind of
person who usually follows my feelings and
emotions without thinking of the consequences it
might bring.

I hate the sight of it. I hate how it makes
me feel insecure about stuff that I know is not
true. But somehow, my mind keeps on making these
ridiculous thoughts. I can't stop it even though
I want to so much.

Insecurity. Yes. I still have it running inside
of me. Trust is the key but sometimes insecurity
kills everything. It's hard for me to let go
of this feeling and I seriously do not
know why myself.

Along the way, I've been hurt. I've been lied to
and I've been left. Maybe that's the reason why
I'm having such thoughts. I have trust in you.
In us. But somehow, something will just ruin it.
Ugh. I hate this. I need to seriously learn the
ways of changing myself to be a person who trusts
more and make less assumptions.

The eyes lie.

Pouring My Heart Out.

2011-08-16T22:34:00.002+08:00

I'm not going to lie anymore.
I'm not going to say that this does
not hurt me at all.
I'm gonna throw it all out once and for all.

I miss you.
I miss how we were so close back then
but now we're so far apart.
I miss hearing us both laugh to a joke together.
I miss how we would hold hands and
sing our hearts out to our favourite songs.
I miss your smile. Funny, I don't see it
on you as often anymore.
I miss how I used to tell you stuff, though
minor, it means a lot to me that you would
take the time to listen.

If I could have one wish,
I'll wish for us to be friends again.
Not this. Not strangers.
FRIENDS.
The closest ever that we can get.

Is it me? If it is, I am truly sorry if
I had hurt you in any way. It's unintentional.
However, tell me what I did wrong and I won't
do it again.

Yes, I think about this so much.
Why? Because I care.
Because I want this to be exactly
like the way it was.
No wall between us. No awkwardness.
Please.

It's hurting me real deep.

Friendship is important to me.
Cause without friends, I've really got
no one else to turn to.
So please, if I've hurt you in any way.

I'm sorry.

Biasness.

2011-08-09T20:56:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt as though you're
pushed aside? Your feelings and emotions
don't count anymore.
Have you ever felt as though you're not
given the equality of attention?
Or the respect that you deserve.

Biasness.
Something that has been everyone's
frenemy.
You'll like it if it's given towards you.
However, everyone hates it if it's given
against you.

When it's given towards you, you feel as though
you're wanted and supported.
However, do realise that this might just
disappear anytime sooner or later.
So, appreciate it as much as possible because
you might never know.
In just a blink of an eye, that attention,
that respect, is gone.

However, when you don't receive it at all,
you'll probably feel as though you're useless.
Unwanted.
The words that haunts me. Haunts you.
Haunts everyone.
No one likes being left out.
No one likes to not be given the attention.
No one likes disrespect.
Nonetheless, when you face this, never tell yourself
"I'm useless and unwanted"
Tell yourself,
"I am useful and wanted, you just havent seen me shine yet"

Never neglect a person because you're giving
the other more attention than needed. You might
just hurt a number of hearts.

My hearts broken.
However,
"I'm useful and wanted. You just haven't seen me shine yet!"

Goodnight.

National Day? NOOOO! HAPPY BIRDDAY!

2011-08-09T20:21:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR NIECE!:)

Wish you all the best in everything
that you do:)
The most awesomest Niece I will ever
have:) No one can replace you.

She's always there for me:)
She makes me smile and laugh.
Though we weren't really that close last time,
I'm glad that we are now.
If not, I wouldn't have known that
I have such a wonderful
and beautiful niece like you!:)

Love you forever and always!
<3

(the pic size is too big though. sorry.)

Bad choices.

2011-08-04T11:10:00.002+08:00

I'm weird.
Sometimes I do something without even
having a thought about the concequences
that it might bring. I just do it
only to realise that I'm making
things worse, for myself!

You see, I have this tendency to
follow my emotions. Every inch of me
and what I do is always because
of what I'm feeling.
This causes me to just make
situations more worse than it can ever be.

I need to start to learn how to think
first before doing anything dumb and
I need to learn that choices have
consequences. And by the looks of it,
I'm really making bad choices.

Surprise, surprise!

2011-07-31T20:43:00.002+08:00

Soooo, I already posted about 29th.
However, I cant forget the celebration
that I had in school as well!

This happened on the 27th(Thurs).
Well, it was two days before my birthday.
It was kind of a normal day in school.
So I really didnt expect anything at all.
So I thought..(again).

During one of my long breaks in school,
the VICO CLUB<3 surprised me with
a cake!:)

Plus, my other friends from last year's class
and a few others came down too!:))
They sacrificed their lesson time, I thank you
guys so much!

However, CREDIT goes out to VICO CLUB
MEMBERS for planning an awesome
Surprise:) really guys, thank you:')

Soo, after that received presents!:))
Was elated with what I got! Nyehehe.
Oh, and yeah.
After the celebration, I was gonna go to class
But I got another surprise because I found
a watch and a keychain in my bag. With
it, there was a note that wrote, 'happy
Birthday'. Mysterious huh?
Mystery person, I thank you greatly;)

Anwww, I had a pleasant surprise
and I'm just honored to have friends
like Vico Club and the rest!

Thank you so much guys!
Love you all!;))

29th July 2011

2011-07-31T18:57:00.002+08:00

The 29th was a day of perfection.
It was my birthday.
Someone made it something that
just totally moved me.
That someone is no other than
my Mr. Awesome.
Farhan Afiq Bin Jaafar.

The day started out perfectly normal.
Went to school for parents meeting with
Dad. No bad complaints, just
Encouragement. Alhamdulillah.

Then off I went to meet MAP.
He genuinely treated me to lunch.
Oh and thank you to your mum:)
After that, waited till he finished his prayers.
Of course prayers come first.

Then, we took a long bus ride
where he sacrificed an hour of his
shoulder just so that I could rest and
regain back my energy. Sweet huh?

After an hour of me being clueless of
where we were going because he kept
the final destination a secret, the bus
reached Harbourfront. Still clueless of
where MAP was bringing me, I just
followed hoping to know soon enough.

Anyway, after much walking around
at Vivo, Fudge finally told me that we
were going to have a lovely picnic,
just the two of us at Sentosa:)
However, before the picnic, he surprised
me by bringing me to the Luge and Skyline
Ride:) it was AMAZING!
I had the time of my life, especially with
him around<3

Then we proceeded to Pahlawan beach
where we found the perfect spot:)
The view of the beach was perfect!
It was windy and we had a shelter
above us. Perfect:)

Since I had to rush home, we went off.
So.. I had to rush and Farhan told me
that there was a shortcut straight to the
MRT stn. So I followed. Otw, he told me
he wanted me to meet his bestfriend.
Hmm that part was a lil bit suspicious
because well it just came out of a sudden.
However I didnt expect anything more
because my day with him was alr as perfect
As it can be. So, after much waiting,
I was greeted with a birthday song and
cake from all my wonderful friends!
Boy was I really touched.
They sacrificed all their time and effort
just to celebrate with me:)
That was all I needed to make end that
day splendidly! So I thought...

Oh, since I was late.. Shreedhya called
And talked to mum. And surprisingly, she
Was not mad at all!:)) see how perfect that
Day was?

So.. We all went to woodlands as they all
Said they wanted to have dinner.
Oh in the train, I was so so grateful that
I had the most sweetes CHBFF ever when
I saw Fzn's video:)) thank you!:) love you.

At Woodlands, Sebastian was greeted by all
of us and since I was wayyy late, I decided that
I should go off first. So, my friends sweetly
insisted they send me to the interchange.
There, when I thought my day was already
Perfect, they surprised me yet again with bags
Full of presents! Boy was I elated:))
I tear nearly prickled down my cheeks
but I stopped myself because I just wanted
to feel that tear of joy myself deep inside.
I was just feeling so blessed:')

Bid farewell and Thanked all of them for
Just making my day so special.
Went home and Farhan, as sweet as
he is, sent me to the customs.
Otw there, I opened up all his presents.
I was so happy that I just thanked him
A million time ans just cried.
Just cried with all the feelings of enjoyment
and I just cried. I was really just speechless.

Went home, and mum and dad didnt
say a word about me gg home late and all.
Wonderful right?
Yeaaaah.

That night, I slept peacefully, knowing that I
Have friends who truly appreciate our
friendship and all. I'm still really just
grateful of everything that I have now:)

That was a day that I'll never forget.
The Perfect Day:)

Alhamdulillah.

I'm blogging from my phone. I cant
Post any pictures of that day but I will
Once i get my laptop back.:)

What's up?

2011-07-24T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hey people! It's been a while since
I actually posted anything on my blog.
Apologies for that. Been really busy with
everything that's happening.

Exams and all.

So? How are you guys?
What has my life come to so far?

Well, got back my examination results
and well, I didnt do as expected but
i'm getting there. Alhamdulillah,
my results aren't bad:)

Okay so updates.
I'm in the combined school's team for
soccer (not boasting just sharing).
It's really a wonderful experience.
However, I'm always dragging myselfto
trainigs:( guess I'm just very exhausted
by all of the activities I have planned for
me.

Anyway,
I watched the match
(SINGAPORE VS MALAYSIA)
at Jalan besar stadium.
Awesome experience, especially with
Nabs and Eunice around!:)
Congrats to Singapore for the win!
5-3 baby!

Got school tmr and I think I'm getting
down with fever soon:/
Alright time to pack up for tmr!:)

Assalam.

Love me and Leave me.

2011-07-03T21:04:00.002+08:00

Yeah and you promised.
Break your promise, leave me
hanging.

So what now? Forgive and forget?
Sorry dude. I can forgive
but I never will forget.

My feelings are not something you
can say hello and goodbye to.
Even when I was at my lowest state and
felt like giving up, I never do
want to leave you.

And you? You did.

Break my heart, my soul and
all the hope I had left.

maybe promises are meant to be broken
afterall.
and maybe dreams dont really come true.

Final Celebration.

2011-06-19T20:21:00.004+08:00

Today, many families celebrated
Father's day. But not all families
did.
While some experienced a joyful
celebration, others are just fated to
not be celebrating a joyous day.

Sadly, my nieces and nephews can't get
the chance to celebrate a final Father's
day with their father.
Yes, one of my cousin's passed away in
loving memory of his children and wife.

Fate. Isn't it funny how things work with
fate? Even when you're at the peak of
your life, it can all just go away in
a blink of an eye. Just like that.

Death is what we fear most. But we get
killed too if one of our loved ones faces it.

Now all that's left are memories.
We can't turn back time.
No one can, despite wishing that we could.

It just took an hour from "everything's okay"
to "everything's gone".
We cannot predict, we cannot stop it.
All we can do is face it and when we do,
move on.

Somehow, every time a family member passes away,
I'll tell myself that I'll get used to it
somehow because it's part of life.
But honestly, no one can "get used" to death
because when it happens, part of you is gone.
It just hurts even though that someone may
not be your closest cousin.

However, it just hurts.

May Allah bless your soul
Abang Asri.

Innanillahi wa
innanillahi ra'jiun.

Imperfect.

2011-06-16T23:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you come to a point when
you feel your life is perfect but
somewhere in the middle, it's not.
Complicated isn't it?

It's like there's this part in your life
when you know things are going well and
as expected but something else shows up
and then you start to wonder -
Is this really perfect?

But whatever it is, my life is going well
as it should be. But not perfect yet.
Nothing's perfect. No?

okay gtg.
Too sleepy to type.
Gdnight

When it doesn't grow anymore.

2011-05-31T21:57:00.003+08:00

Still bearing the pain on my gums:/

Yes, a tooth on the left side
of my mouth will never grow anymore.
A few hours ago, I had a bad toothache.
One of the rare ones I get.
The second time I'm having this tootache,
to be specific.

What happened?
I chipped my tooth a year ago and because of
that I got an infection cause I did not go
to the dentist at all to check on it.
So what happen was that the dentist told me
I had two choices.
To pay RM600 for a treatment. (I won't be able to
feel any of my nerves near the gum area)
OR
Simply pull out my tooth.

Of course I wouldn't wanna waste RM600 ringgit
on one tooth so, I went with the second choice.

Okay let me tell you what happened.

First of all, they took out this long needle.
Then they said it wouldn't hurt.
but of course, they lied.
My gums and tongue felt numb a few minutes after they
needled me. I thought I was gonna faint.
I didn't know whether it was because of the
injection or malaysia's news programme playing
on the television. (joke)
Anyyyywayyyy, then they needled my gums
the second time. Less painful.

After that, the doc said it woldn't hurt when
she's pulling my tooth out. I'll only feel
the pressure.
And yeah, she didn't lie to me this time.
Although, somehow I can hear my gums tearing from
the tooth. YEARGH.
After my tooth was pulled out, I saw it on the
tray. BLOODY.

Now, half of my mouth feels numb. And my ears
too. Ugh. It's like I can pinch it
as hard as I want but it still won't hurt.
It's kinda cool but weird.

Anyyywayyyy, here's a reminder from a regretful
person who just lost her awesome tooth.
Please remember to brush your teeth at least
twice a day. Morning and night:)
Then, you don't have to experience
painful teeth-pulling!
HAHAHAA.

Gdnight.

All is well.

2011-05-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah.
Everything is fine again as I prayed
it would be.
All we needed to do was break the
silence and things will go
with the flow.

I promise I regretted saying
all those things to you. I did not
mean it a single bit. It was all just
done at the spur of the moment when
my blood was boiling.
I really did not mean what I had said.
If I could, I'll take back those words cause
I know it has hurt you deep inside and
somehow it's affecting you.

We'll get back on track. We know
we can do it.
We'll start afresh.
I know we can do it.

Heart and Mind.

2011-05-29T21:53:00.003+08:00

My mind keeps telling me I've
had enough but my heart tells
me to not give up.
I don't know what I should do now.
I'm clueless and in need of answers.
But your silence is not helping much.

What am I suppose to do?
Stay silent too?
Ugh. I can't do this now.
Just not now.
Not when I've got too many other things to
worry about.

At least tell me what you think.
Don't stay silent like this.
It's hurting me.
:'(

My mind's in a terrible state right now.
I need help, quick.

A night of reflection.

2011-05-16T23:41:00.002+08:00

Wow. Looking back at the old me,
I realised that I've changed.
A lot.
I don't like it at all.

I'm mean. A whole lot of mean.
I realised that right now, I am not the
old me anymore.
I'm more prone to lashing out my feelings
to a person, I'm more vulgar, I'm more
unappreciative, I'm more selfish,
I'm more unfriendly and I'm just more
mean.
Looks like I've summarised all the
qualities of the worst person on earth.

How could I have changed into becoming a
person who I despise? Yes, I would just hate myself
right now.

I need to change.
Change for the better.
I know it's kinda sick to hear me say this
sentence of "change" over and over again but
I need to constantly remind myself to
get back on the right track so that I wont
be another train wreck.

I'm weaker now. I need support.
I could break down any minute just thinking
about all of these.

May Allah be with me throughout,
Insya'allah.

Sawadikap.

2011-05-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

Today is Monday.
10 mins ago it was Sunday.
Okay, so what am I doing at this
late hour when I know I got school
tmr/today?
Hah. I'm not going.
Yep, call me lazy bum I'm just not going.
School's such a chore nowadays.
Prolly cause I know exams are coming and blabla.

The only thing that drives me to go to school
nowadays are cause of soccer and Farhan. LOL.
Ugh. Don't judge me.

Anyyyyywayyyy.
Had Nabibi's birthday celebration in the afternoon.
It was awesomezxzx!
Played soccer and all!
Headed to Little India straight after to find
presents for a friend.
Blablabla.

I miss my friends.
Secondary school friends, specifically.
I miss Aisha, my primary school bestfriend.
I miss everyone:(

Feel as though I'm a bad friend cause
I always either cancel meetings or will
unfortunately be busy on that day:(
Ugh. I wish I had more time to spare for
my lovelies.

Okay, feel like posting another one soon.
Or not.

Sayonarararara.

Like I Care.

2011-05-15T23:00:00.002+08:00

Woah. I didn't know that there are
some people who are so hypocritical in this
world. Do you even know that it's so transparent?
I can see it with my two bare eyes.
I don't even need effort to know it.

You know what I do to people like
you? I really just don't give a shit.
No, seriously. Why would I wanna give
a heck about people who don't even have
a significance in my life?!

I tried to keep things professional but
wow, I just can't take it in any longer.
You know why? Cause I don't give a bloody damn.

Your kind of person just makes my life
worse. I don't need shit like this. I have
other people in the world to care about other
than you shitty ass.

I am sorry if this comes out a lil rough
but this is the only place that I can let loose.
I'm not being bitchy, I'm just expressing all this
anger outta me about you.
Cause really, I just give up.

So, goodbye you.
I no longer give a damn.

:)

MIA.

2011-05-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

Yes. Clearly I have been
MIA for quiet a while in the cyber world.
Specifically this page.

Sooo, how's life for me?

School is well.. not so fine, honestly
speaking. Sometimes I just wish I can rewind
back time and go to what I had previously
and make the best out of it.
But like they all say, life has no rewind
button. You just gotta go forward.

I miss my good secondary school days when
I was so carefree and everything came like how
I wanted it to despite some challenges.
As compared to now, Secondary School, was THE
LIFE.

I need to get back on track with my studies.
I need to set my priorities straight but
nowadays I can't seem to do so cause of all the
distractions and all. It's just way too much
for me to handle. How I wish I can have a day
where I can spend time alone without worrying
about studies or anything other than
laying back.

Too bad that's a no-no since exams are coming
soon. End of June, to be specific.
It's gonna be a tough fight, mentally and
physically for me.
I'm just very tired nowadays and sometimes
I can't seem to focus. I really need some time
off of LIFE. Really.

I think I might need to shoot myself soon.

Worthless.

2011-05-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt that whatever you
did previously was just a worthless act?
You did something out of care and concern but
what you get back is a whole different
expectation.

The world is full of lies.
People may say something but in fact
they mean a whole lot of something else.
You can't always trust a person's words.
Not even the ones you are close to.
Somehow, someday, they are bound to hurt
you even in the smallest of situations.

I learnt not to depend too much on people
because I know I'll get disappointed easily.
It's just not right for a person
to say something but do something else.
It just isn't.

Okay, I'll say no more about this.

Irony.

2011-05-11T09:27:00.002+08:00

If only I had a remote that could control
my life. The most favourable button
would be the rewind button.

I'm confused.
I'm weak.
I'm just tired.

Confused at what's happening right now.
Weak, just too weak to go through this
today.
Tired, tired to even care.

Is it my fault now?
I really don't know what to do.
I know i'm being rash but this is
uncontrolable. I really don't know what
to do.

Today is just a bad day.

Culture Exchange

2011-04-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

Today, the AWESOMEZXZ and I
experienced being guests at an
Indian wedding. To specify, it was
Durga's sister's wedding:)

The temple was at Dhoby Ghaut.
Got up early, cabbed down to Shreedhya's
and got ready. Her mum sent us.
Haha, we had loads of fun there.
It was definitely interesting having to
experience a once in a lifetime oppurtunity
like this, especially when you're not Indian.:)

Pictures? Prolly uploading it
on Facebook, sooner or later;)

Training tomorrow:/
Currently at Shreedhya's place and guess what?!
We're both sick!
Hope this doesn't affect us tmr:/
It's a looooooong dayyy tmr:/

Talking to Fzn now. Ahhh, miss her soo much:(
and all my other friends too.

Okay, gonna turn into bed earlier tonight.
Tonight's kinda slacky for us cause
me and Shreedhya did all our work already! Yay!

Okay, salam.

Persevere on.

2011-04-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

Last wednesday, we had our match
against TJC and we WON!
But, the team did not really do
as expected and we were all disappointed
with ourselves.
The score? 2-0

This coming Wednesday, we have a match
against JJC:)
I'm nervous and excited!
Not quite sure what to expect though.
Today the guys went against TJC but
sadly, they lost.
We were all sad and surprised at the score
but we must always remember, every failure
is a step closer to success.
So come on boys, you can do it!
Cheer up and be prepared to win the next match!

So how's my life?
It's fine:)
Everything's normal and stuff.
Currently at Shreedhya's place.
Had training just now and darn I was so disappointed
with my performance.
Gotta improve for the upcoming matches so
I won't disappoint my team.:/

Honestly, it's a whole lot of pressure being the
keeper. It's like most of the responsibility is on you.
but I can do it! Yeah!
okayyyy, enough of this personal motivation thing.

Alright, gonna sleep now. Tmr's quite a long day.
School ends at 4 plusss and we have PE!
Okayyyy tata.
Gdnight.
Salam, Nadz.

"A" divisions BABY!

2011-03-27T15:48:00.002+08:00

Hey there awesome people!
Currently in the library sitting
in front of two women who seem to be
stressing out playing skyburger
on their iPhone 4s. haha!
They are currently having a study break
and thinks that playing games on the iPhone
would help get the stress off their heads.
But the looks of it, I think they're more
stressed than ever. haha!

Anyyywayyyyyy,
yes A divs are coming! yay!
They guy's first match starts tmr and the girl's
on Wednesday! I can't waiittt!

Life's been normal lately.
Ups AND downs.But hey we all experience it.

Oh oh! Cross-country just passed
and I got fourth.
I'm satisfied with what I got but
I'm still disappointed with myself.
Why? Well, half-way during the race, my head
was saying "Give up, give up, give up".
And I was on the verge of stopping but
idk. I'm just disappointed that I could still
be thinking of giving up after listening to
tonnes of people lecturing me on why I shouldn't.
Ugh, it's frustrating.

Well, let's get that off my mind.
Right now my stomach's growling like no one's
business. I think even the women in front
of me can hear it growl. haha!

I'm craving for McDonalds today and idk
why:/

okayyyyy, take care everyone.
Salam, nadz.

Music.

2011-03-27T15:27:00.002+08:00

Once, someone asked me,
"Why do you sing?"
And I said, "Cause it's
what I love to do."

Music is one way where everyone and
anyone can express themselves out.
I know I don't have the voice of a diva
or a wonderful singing voice at all but
singing just lets me relax.

When I'm stressed out or think that
everything's going down, I sing.
I lock myself up in my room, grab my guitar
and sing. Just simply, sing.
What do I sing about?
Anything really. Any song that I feel
can relate to my feelings and the situation that
I'm stuck with.

It struck me that I wanted to be passionate about
playing the guitar and sing when I was very young
but I didn't really thought I was capable enough
of doing so. Everyone was better at me and I knew
I couldn't be known as the girl who can sing and
play the guitar. I still am not but hey, if
I have the passion to do both things, I'll do it.

One strong influence that got me stuck
to music and the meaning of it was and still
is, is my Dad. Yep, the old man may be cracking fatherly
jokes and is always clumsy but my dad knows his music.
When he was younger and not yet retired(haha),
he was a journalist and part-time lyricist.
He brought me to concerts and events where I could see
all those successful artist and all.
And no, not Michael Jackson or Mariah Carey but
singers who have made it far in the music industry
locally. Specifically, the malay music industry.
I know it might not be a "wow" thing for you,
but it was for me. It's fascinating, really.

Anyyyywayyyyyy, enough about the boring stuff.
What I'm trying to say is that everyone of
us needs a way to let loose of our emotions.
Be it by dancing, screaming with the pillow
covering your face, throwing handphones to the
walls of your house (hahaha) or sleeping:)
The way I do it is by singing.

This is sorta a random post but it was
what I thought about while sitting in the library
alone. haha!

have a great day ahead!:)

Separation.

2011-03-27T15:05:00.002+08:00

When disagreements happen,
there are bound to be separations.
I can't afford to do that to myself.
I can't afford to imagine myself
separated from you.
I'm sorry for everything that I've ever done
to you that probably hurt you.
I didn't mean to do it at the point of time.
I agree, I was selfish having to only think
about myself. And I'm deeply sorry.
I know we've settled things out but I
just want you to know that I'll try to change.
I promise.

<3

5-0

2011-03-16T23:37:00.003+08:00

Yes, that was the score to today's
match against VJC.
You might call it a trash from
them but I call it pure experience
for us.

It was devastating having to
accept that another team had won against
you.What made it more worse was that
they scored a total of five freaking
goals and what we contributed to our
team was.. well... nothing. Nada. Zilch.
ZERO.
Yes, as you all can tell, I'm pretty
affected by this.
I did loads of mistakes that I could have
prevented.

My team mates did their best and I
am super duper proud of them:)
Generally most of them improved.
We'll never give up I know of that
and I know we'll keep on striving
for excellence:)

Anyyywayyyy,
I played keeper today and on the
last third of the game, he put me as
outfield. OMG! Right? Right?
When I was in for keeper, I let
in not one, not two BUT THREE
FREAKING GOALS!
WTFish:(
Oh and while I was playing forward,
a VJC student, I promise
I heard this coming from her mouth,
said "F%*^ you" to me.
How did I react?
I didn't.
hah. Was too tired to even
bother at all.

Okayyyy, currently
in Shreedhya's place talking to her.
I promise you we're retarded as ever.
I just slipped on the comforter
a few seconds ago!
hahahaha!

kayyyy, gtg bye:)

How's life?

2011-03-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

As you all can see,
I've not been updating recently.
I know I know I've been saying that I've
got lots to do and stuff resulting to why
I can't blog everyday like before anymore
but I really can't find the time.
So, I can only blog on days when I feel
like I really need to express what
I've kept deep within or on the days
when I am free of stuff to do and
not tired out by all my activities.

So....
What has life lead me to now?
Nothing much really.

School:
It's the holidays now.
School for the past few weeks have been
fun and tiring for me.
Taking into account that now I have to
juggle between excelling in my studies
compared to last year and CCA where A divs are
very very near. Basically just be
a great friend, family member and student.
Gonna have CCA programme
and a friendly against VJC tmr.
Dear Allah, may everything turn out fine:)
Ameen.

Anw, sometimes I feel so tired that
I find it hard to stay awake in classes or
focusing on the lesson.
I really need to manage my time.
My eyebags(I nearly typed airbags LOL) are forming
up again and I look ugly, as I always am.

Oh, and on training days I'll sleepover
at Shreedhya's place cause by the time I'll
reach home it'll be too late to do anything.
SEE! How am I suppose to manage my time if I don't
even have time to figure out what I have to manage!
Get it?! Nevermind.

Anyyywayyyyy,
A level results were given out last week or so.
And MI acieved great results!:)
Happy for the seniors!

I'm currently watching GLEE season 1 again
cause well TV programmes are a bore nowadays,
the internet connection sucks as usual(I have to
actually wait for FIVE freaking minutes
to load this page. JUST THIS PAGE ALONE!ha ha)
and well, I need to de-stress!

Okayy, wish me and pray for MIFL's
match against VJC tmr:)
Whatever the outcome may be,
I am positively sure that
the MIFL will come out better and stronger.
Whatever will be.

Oh I have a list of people who I'm missing now.
Let's list them down.

1) Farzanah!
2) The awesome eight!
3) Maxine. (Saw her the other time but was
too sick to say hi. Sorry dimplesgirl)
4) My niece:(
5) everyone else(lazy to list all of em down.

And of course you, the top on my list.
Is that counted as 0? haha! k nvm
You know I miss you.

I was looking through my diary that was written
a few years back and stumbled upon a quote I
made which got my attention.

"Without history, the present can never exist"

This is true. And I am thankful.
Alhamdulillah.

Good night:)

Siblings.

2011-03-15T21:53:00.004+08:00

I have a brother.
Well, technically three brothers but
let's not get to that.
This particular brother of mine,
well let's just say my life would be
far more different if he wasn't around.

Just a few days ago before the
holidays started, my friends ad I were
talking about siblings.
Explains the whole point of me blogging
about this particular topic.

You see, we're all new classmates and
we were not quite sure who has a sibling
or has siblings or is the only child.
So, as clueless as we all were,
we guessed on each person to whether or not
they were the only child or a part
of other siblings.

When it came to me, I was surprised to
find out that most of them looked at me
as an only child.
When I asked why, the answer mostly
heard was "cause you just look like one."
Hah. I still don't know why though.

Well anyway. After the convo with my friends,
my mind gave a thought about how it would feel if
I had no other sibling and I was the only
child to my parents.
Would I be more happier?
Would I gain more attention?
Would I have more love?
Would I spoil myself with more of my wants?
What would I be like?

Then again I thought,
But what would life be like if I had
no one to share my love with apart from
my parents?
It would certainly be more lonely.

Well, sometimes, we see things that we think
are more positive.
For example in this case, not to have a sibling
means more priveleges for us alone.
Apparently, what we see is something that's taking
our vision away from the real gift
of having siblings.
yes, having siblings will cause us to
have to bear with their attitude and the
way they constantly irritate us even for
the slightest of things but what we're missing
out is that having siblings means more love.
More of learning from each other.
More of understanding each other.

My brother and I used to always fight every day.
It's like our sibling-hood was meant to
be driven upon quarrels but as we grew older
and learnt to compromise, I realised that
these small fights that happened are actually
the reasons to why we're so close now.

This doesn't just imply to siblings.
It can also be implied to friends, other family members
or even in a relationship involving
two people falling in love.

Quarrels and fights are healthy.
But not healthy when they happen regularly and
caused by a big issue.

Nope, I'm not saying that all my arguments with
people who are related to me are as healthy as
can be but I'm still learning how to not
take things too seriously and just be more
open to small matters.
Everyone takes time to learn, right?

Enough blabbering.
Hope ya'll have a great day/night!:)

Nadz.

The Beauty of Knowledge.

2011-03-06T14:21:00.002+08:00

I've never thought of this but
have you ever felt this feeling?
The satisfactory feeling that builds
up inside of you whenever you've
accomplish something. Big or small.

It fills inside of you like
pleasure, in a good way.
It keeps you wanting more.
You'll never get tired of this
special feeling that grows inside of you.

I've never seen it this way before.
It's always been a chore for me but now,
realising what I've missed out in a long time,
I now know that this is one way to
feel good about myself.
When I know I've put in all the effort.
Not just effort but a full percentage of effort.
And when I've accomplished what I've set myself
to aim for, it feels as though everything
done was worthwhile and not a single bit
wasted.

They say you'll never know until you experience it.
And I've experienced it.
And now, it's time for me to buck up and
prove myself wrong.
Not others but MYSELF.
Procrastination never comes in handy when
you want to achieve something.
So do it now before
it's too late.

nadz.

Understand this.

2011-03-06T13:52:00.003+08:00

Don't ever believe on what others
say about you. You are you and you
know yourself best among anyone else.
Don't ever compare yourself with them.
They were born that way.
They may be more luckier than you,
they may be more richer, more good looking,
more privileged or whatever it is but
it's up to you to make the best of your life
with whatever you have.

It would be foolish of you to always be
so comparative towards them and yourself.
But of course you need a little bit of
competition. However, not to the extent
till it goes overboard.

Why take this so emotionally?

So what if people say you're not as good as
him/her or you'll never level up to his standards.
So what?
Truth is, you know that you have your own
standards to live upon.

I don't give a thought on money or looks,
honestly speaking.
I care more about what's inside and not
what's covering you.
I believe that you're the best.
And it's time for you to see that for yourself.
You don't have to bother on what people say about you.
Do they really have a huge significance in your life?
NO THEY DON'T.
So why bother.

I'm out.

Mufiz.

2011-02-17T20:38:00.002+08:00

Currently at Mufiz eating dinner with some
of the soccer girls and two
idiotic guys. Haha!

Just ended training a few minutes ago.
Oh btw, i injured my shoulder badly,
real badly. Dont feel like
sharing about the painful experience.

There will be a MATCH tmr.
Against who?!
RJC! :/

Okay, my maggie goreng's
here! Time to eat!
Jemput:)

Salam.

Alone on a Saturday night.

2011-02-12T21:37:00.004+08:00

Hi all!
Currently at cck macs waiting for
the rest before heading to Shreedhya's
place. It's nearly ten now.
Sleeping over at Shreedhya's place today.
Decided to just stay at Macs and wait
for the rest instead of gg to Sebas' house.
I'm too late and idk how to get there
anyway.

Had futsal tournament just now.
Didn't win. Apparently they only
give prizes to the first place winner.
Didn't really perform up to my best:/

Just ate a Samurai Beef Burger Meal.
It was awesome as usual.
My company till the rest comes:)

Valentines day's coming but
unfortunately, I don't celebrate it.
Why?
1. Cause muslims don't celebrate it.
2. Cause If other reasons:)

Miss my brother Sofffffffiiiieeee:((
It's been a day and a half since I last
saw him:(
Wonder what my family's doing at home:/

Alright then, let me just enjoy
the wonderful songs that are playing
one the radio at Macs. Haha!
"seven things I love about you..
Your ......."

Kay tc. Have a great night:)
Salam.

Tailbone.

2011-02-10T23:53:00.003+08:00

Ugly hairstyle. Hah!
(Yknow I'm just kidding) <3

Hi hi!
Let's give a short summary about
today.

It was kinda draggy in the morning
as we had this life connection thing.
It's useful though, learned lotsa things
from it!
Then had break followed by PRM
at centrestage.

Had soccer training.
Was tough and tiring.
However, today's training was extra painful.
My back made problems and half of the time
I was limping to get to
one place to another.
Despite that, had fun during training:)

Had dinner straight after training.
But we had an extra company.
Won't comment much about that though.
Some reasons why.

And that's it really.
So yea, interesting aye? Not.

On the tenth. <3

Salam.

Let things run on it's own course.

2011-02-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

Things are kind of back to normal
now.
Alhamdulillah.
It's getting better I suppose.

Got the results for this year's
class.
11B5.
Can't believe I'm a business
student now.
No more arts.:(

Found out who my future class mates
are going to be.
People like, Shreedhya, Jane, Bhavani,
Faiz, Fariz, Deepan and who ah.
Got more I think.
Okaylah, at least I know most of them.

I'm suppose to be sleeping right now cause
I need ample rest for training tomorrow.

Rocky Road.

2011-02-08T20:26:00.002+08:00

It's been a really rough road
for me.

I need time.
Time to think and set my priorities
right.
Too many commitments, too many
disappointments.

Parents.
Studies.
Religion.
CCA.
You.

I'm a mess right now.
Disappointment after disappointment.
I'm too weak.

All I could do was to run away from all
my problems, so I thought.

Dear M&D,

I know I've disappointed you too many
times. I know I haven't been on my best
behaviour lately. I've troubled everyone
so much. I've received too much and gave
too little. You have given me everything
but all I did was to give you nothing
in return. No results, no nothing at all.
I can never live without you two.
I can never imagine life without the both of you.
I need you and I hope that you won't give up
on me.
I need you both.

Dear R,

I need you to improve. I need to.
It's not an option, it's a must.
I'll give more attention to you.
Whatever it is, you hold my future.
And to get what I want, I need to work
harder this time round.
I promise, with all my heart,
I'll put in the best in what I do.

Dear A,

I haven't been doing what I'm suppose
to lately because of all my activities.
I know I've been lagging you behind.
I know that above all, you must be first
on my priority list.
Without you, I live a very un-meaningful
life. I'll set my priorities straight
this time. I need to.

Dear S,

I love you. But I need to cut it down.
I have other things to put before you.
I gotta do it right.
I gotta change this time.

Dear (L),

I'm nothing without you.
I'm a lonely person without you.
I need you.
I'm sorry.
But I need time.
Time to think.
You need space.
I've disappointed you too
many times.
I'm lost, super lost without you.
Please understand.
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
But I love you, no matter what.
Just give me time, more time.

Lowest peak right now.
It's all up to me.

N.

VASTUUDOR!

2011-02-01T22:26:00.002+08:00

Hello again!
Finally after so long, I can
get my hands typing on the laptop again.
Cable's been replaced so now I can
surf the net again! YAY!

So the past 4 days of orientation
was okay!
It did started out slow and boring but
at the end, I'm positively
sure that everyone enjoyed everything:)

Oh and did I mention,
there are like freaking MINAHs
in our school!
THIS IS BAD. REAL BAD.
Especially MPJ. hahahah!
Only some people know what it means.
Shhhh secret!

Anywayyyyyyyy,
tmr is the eve of Chinese New Year!
Thennnnn I haveeeeee SOCCER!
I gave training a skip on Monday though.
Because I had to head home early and I was feeling
rather unwell. Ugh.
The pain was excruciating!

My family and I are planning to head
to Malacca this Thursday for our Vacation
Baybeh!^^ Woo WOO!

OH oh oh and My group won
BEST mascot yay!
:) even though I'm sure ours wasn't
one of the best looking and groomed one.
hahaha!

I miss my bimbos:(
I always never get to meet them.
:( This sucks.

YOU SO CUTE!

GTG pack my bag for tmr!

Salam.

Talks talks talks

2011-01-28T09:09:00.002+08:00

Gd morning everyone!
Currently in the hall listening to
Mr Ying/Ping? give a talk about
Subject combinations.
My legs are killing me!

So, how has orientation been for me?
Well I can tell you one thing.
MI's Indian population is decreasing!
Comparing the number of Indians in MI
Ponavaresho!

Today will end very very late! About
Nine thirty! I hope I can meet the
bimbos later after orientation ends.
Oh oh oh, and Im staying over at
Shreedhya's place today together with
Claudia!:)

Tournament's on tomorrow
somewhere near balestier.

Yay! Can't wait for CCA open house
that's going to happen later!
Come on, bring in the new talents!:)

Hmm I'm wondering whether to change
combination cause well, apparently,
we are all required to take an aptitude test
For history;/
I doubt that i can even rmb
the main topics on secondary school
syllabus.

Okay my legs are killing me! I'm freezing
cold cause of the air con in the hall!
Brrrrrrrrrr!

Will update later!
Salam.

Wasted.

2011-01-22T23:38:00.002+08:00

:((
I don't think I'll ever get a chance
to meet T.Swift.:(
This is real sad for me, real sad.

Just found out about the contest an hour
ago and I'm only left with 20 mins to
go for it. But nah, I'll never make it.
I'll just not enter knowing that I can't make
it at all.

This is real real sad.
I promise, I'm going to cry on the
concert day.
Call me over-dramatic if you may but
this really means alot to me.
Haigh. sad sad life.

How I wish the ticket would
appear in front of me just like that.

PINK.

2011-01-20T10:47:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, the soccer girls and
I headed down to Queensway to get
team bags!
I can't believe I'm saying this but
soon enough you'll see me carrying
a pink bag to school all around.
Well okay, it's not entirely pink but
still, there's PINK!

Currently at home waiting for time
to pass by before I head to school
for training.
Self-training today.

Yesterday was awesome I guess.
Cause I spent a wonderful time in the
library alone, met FZN again!, had
awesome laughs with the Soccer girls,
ate a wonderful meal at Macs(Samurai baybay!),
met MAP and ended the night awesomely with
dinner together with the other four Eunos'!

Hope today's going to be as awesome as
ever!

Orange socks for soccer todayyyyyy! ^^,

(Brother Sofian's ironing his clothes while
singing the batman theme song! ahahhaha!)

Salam.

Same old same old.

2011-01-19T12:29:00.002+08:00

This is for you. No, not you
but you.

It's either that you just did not get
what I had meant or its purely
ignorance on your part.

I've been keeping this inside for
a long long time and right now I dont
think I can have that much patience to
sustain this silence any longer.

It's so obvious I think even a five
year old would notice. Why do you
keep on doing this to me?
You assure me but then, in a blink
of an eye, I see you doing it.

What am I? A freaking ghost?
I was freaking right in front of you and
yet...

You never keep up to your
promises do you?
I guess you dont.
This is a total disappoitment.

Thats all that I got to say.

Show it.

2011-01-18T01:33:00.002+08:00

Ever felt that sometimes you
don't know the difference between
actions and words anymore because
everyone around you says something
but ends up doing something else?

Sometimes I just wish people around me
would stop doing that.
I just wish everyone around me would
cut the shit talking and get to the main
point of doing it.
Really.

I dont want to pretend not to care anymore.
I want them to know that every action they
make counts. I want them to know that
actions are more important compared to
just words.

Also, I just wish that people would stop
lying to each other even for very
small reasons.
So what if you're lying even for the smallest
of reasons? You're still lying.

You see, if we people, lie about even
the smallest of things, how are we able to gain
more trust from each other?

I know this is all so confusing, but it's what
my mind has been filled with for the past few hours.
Note: This does NOT pin point to anyone
in particular.

I do have trust.
I trust a lot.
However, if their actions speak otherwise,
what am I suppose to do?

Such a complicated mind.

Salam.

Shuttlecocks and rackets.

2011-01-14T15:28:00.002+08:00

Hello peepoles!
I am currently at my school hall.
Just finished a badminton match
with MAP.
Who won? Him of course!
( Haha its okay, ill win next time^^)

Had soccer meeting just now!
Soccer training again tmr.

Alright then, will update later at night.
Maybe:)

Salam!

Groundhog Day.

2011-01-11T18:45:00.002+08:00

Currently at home.
It's nearly 7pm and no one's home
yet:(
Dad's gone out. Mum's got work.
Bro's just not home.
So lonely.
How I wish I was in school:(
(Can't believe I'm saying this)

Anyyyywayyyyy,
what did I do yesterday?
Yesterday was a very very short day.
As usual, woke up at 4am in the morning!
Went to school with MAP:)
Then had PT in the morning with
the soccer babes!:)

When it was time to assemble,
I watched as all of my friends lined up
to their new classes. All smiling away
expecting what they prepared for a year ago.
It's never luck, it's hard work.

Anw, then we were all sent to the lecture room
to hear our new VP, Mrs Koh, talk to us.
"Never repeat your mistake again"
Keeps on playing on my mind every single minute.
Anyyywayyyy, then we all had to watch this movie
titled "Groundhog Day".
We didn't get to watch it fully cause well,
we were out of time. It was already 1.30pm
(dismissal time).

After everything, Shreedhya, Sebastian and I
had lunch! Oh and the vendors in school
has changed! Meaning = better food!
BUT no more cute aunties:(
The dishes were awesome but NO MORE WINTERMELON!:(

Had late lunch again with the soccer girls
before training.
Training was WET!
We were all drenched in rain but it was fun:)

After training waited for Afiq! and Ralph and
headed home.
If I'm going to have school as late as yesterday
as often, I think I'll never have enough
energy!

Oh and I have 2 more weeks of holiday till
my OFFICIAL first day of school starts:)

I guess now I'll just wait wait for my family
to come home and make my day un-boring!
COME BACK FAST PLEASE!!

I wonder what you did in school today:(
Miss you.

Salam.:)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

2011-01-09T22:33:00.003+08:00

School starts tomorrow.
Most of my ex classmates are all
going to their new classes.
I wonder what's it like being
in their shoes.
Oh well, can't blame anyone.
Not sure of what tomorrow is
going to be like though.
I'm both nervous and worried.

There's soccer in the morning
and afternoon tomorrow.

What have I been up to these past few days?
Well, I had a 3 days non-residential
on wed to fri. Hong Kah sec.
Damn, it was tiring!
Met new and interesting people!
Had a stressful but enjoyable camp!
Overall? It was okay.

This week hasn't been one of those smooth
weeks. It has been a totally rough week
for me.
Dear Allah, Please give me the strength
to fight this through.
Amin.

Think I'm heading to bed earlier tonight.
Gdnight.

Love you people!
All the best!:)

Wow. Keep it up.

2011-01-05T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today was such amazing night!
I totally enjoyed every single bit
Of it!

Well yknow what, thats
Crappy bullshit!

Damn today.
Damn tonight.
Damn all of this shit.

Him.

2011-01-04T00:27:00.003+08:00

4 days.
96 hours.
5,760 minutes.
345,600 seconds.

Drift.

2011-01-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

This year.
Ugh, I hate the fact that
everyone's so separated from each
other.
These past few days, my mind is
constantly asking questions like,

Will this year be far more different
that what last year was?
Will 2011 turn out badly?
Will this year make me a better person?
Will I meet friends who are as awesome
as the ones I have now?
Will we all drift apart due to our
"separation"?
Are things going to turn out differently?
Are things going to change?

Ugh, there are too many questions but
no instant answers.
Well, I guess that's life huh.
I just hope things will be ...
decent(?) in 2011.
The sight really worries me to the core.

:'(

Gdnight.

New Year? Really?

2011-01-02T23:10:00.002+08:00

Do we Muslims really need to
celebrate a New Year on every
1st of January we come upon?
Seriously.
I mean why celebrate this "New Year"
when we don't even celebrate the New Year
as stated in the Muslim calender?
Why be more excited for something that has
already passed?
Just a thought.

Anyyywayyyy, since it's a brand New Year that
we gladly call 2011, what's your New Year's
resolution?
Whatever it is, I hope all of it will be achieved
by the end of this year:)
All the best okay!

What did I do on New Year's eve and
New Year itself?
The norm!
Yes, the norm.
If you really think it through,
experiencing a brand new year is actually
the same as experiencing a normal day the
previous year.
But of course, the only difference is that
once you've planned out your resolution, your
goal for that year is different.
And what you do to achieve those goals will
make your year different.
Okayy, enough of the new year stuff.

Will prolly update later if I
got nothing to do:)

Salam.

Siloso with the team.

2010-12-29T22:20:00.002+08:00

Rmb on the previous post
where I mentioned that I have to
head to Sentosa?
27th was the date and Monday was the day:)
The soccer girls planned an outing
to Sentosa's Siloso Beach.
As usual, any time spent with those awesome
mates was in fact, FUN!

As soon as I reached, I changed and
got my feet kicking around:)
Met a few seniors which I've never met before,
they're awesome!
Basically, we played awesome matches on the
sand, using a volleyball to replace a soccer ball and
having 4 chairs to be used as goal posts.
Haha!

Initially, I intended not to get any part of me wet
but apparently, temptations into swimming in the clear
blue waters of Sentosa and the two "twins" had made
me decided to just fully sink myself in:)

After washing up, we packed and some of us,
including me, left Vivo early while the others
had dinner together.

Luckily, my second and third plan of the day was
cancelled and postponed.
Went to meet the MAP (guess this out)
in my life.
Went over to manjen's
and played PS3! My playstation skills
are lacking of experience by the cause of
not playing for over 2 years.
Don't worry, I'll win... someday? hahahah!

Had one of the most amazing nights and
went back to my aunts place:)

Yea, that was the end of an awesome 27th.
The following days, including today was
much spent indoors. So, I really got nothing
to share. heh.

Have a great night ahead people!
I'm off to bed early.
Trust me, right now, I don't think
anyone wants to go near me. My saggy
eyebags are pushing people away from me:(
The cause of watching too much
of How I Met Your Mother in the middle of the night.

Goodnight,
salam.
May the people you miss, miss you back <3

4 girls, 2 cameras and lots of FUN.

2010-12-29T20:46:00.004+08:00

Initially I wanted to put the
title as
"When 4 girls sleep together."
HAHAHA! But it sounded too wrong.
Okay, out of topic.
Let's get back on track.

The past weekend and quarter of a weekday
was Legen (wait for it) DARY!
LEGENDARY.
Let's summarise:)

DAY 1 (The day when my record
of "not having friends over for
over a year" was broken!):

All of the awesomezxz met at Kranji (also
known as fart-citay!) oh and one apek
wearing yellow, orange and three-quarter
pants (my apek <3).
Bid farewell to the most awesome guy ever
and our wonderful journey began:)
Thank Allah the jam was not that bad,
Alhamdulillah!
Took the bus all the way to Larkin.
For the people who have never been there,
it's the most polluted, crowded and irritating
place ever. Imagine alighting the bus and
having people rush to you selling tickets to
different parts of this "truly Asian" country.
Having to breathe in the most thickest, most
polluted air ever and going through a place
full of danger and aliens staring at you
from head to toh(haha inspired by maxmax)
Anyywayyy(off topic again, sorry), dad fetched
all of us from there(phew) and our journey to
my home was left by only a quarter of the distance.
Reached home only to find out Abang Imran's family
visited:)
Settled down and everything and soon after the
guests were gone, we went of to ANGSANA!
(The shopping mall full of ... okay nvm)
The girls shopped, of course.
Had The Body Shop perfumes sprayed all over us,
ate rolls and rolls of popiah basah that Dwi was
craving for, slurped the wonderful fillings in
the most delicious Dunkin' Donuts ever(Munira's crave)
and had to hear Athirah say she saw a few handsome guys
(prolly Singaporeans, no offence - i'm not "countrist").
After SHOPPING (well, mostly window shopping for me),
we all went for dinner at Wak Radol (A place quite known
for it's awesome satay though I didn't find the satay
that awesome on that night:/ Sorry Mr. Radol).
After dinner, we went straight home.
By this time, most of us were flu-attacked!
Nonetheless, we crapped our night away
making embarassing covers and singing our throats out
till the neighbour, which was 2 toilet doors away,
complained of us being too noisy(good job Bro Sofian!)
After shaking all of the energy from ourselves,
we slept peacfully:)... NOT, cause someone snored on
the first night;)

DAY 2 (A day of non-stop fun
and laughter!)

Woke up to an awesome breakfast
of Malaysian-made prata!
Got ready and wasted time playing
"guess this" on the white board till noon.
Lame AND hilarious! haha!
After much time wasted, (hahaha I'm still
thinking of the game!)
we all headed to JUSCO, AEON(Johor's so called
Vivo). Yes, the girls shopped.
AEON was big and when I say big I meant HUMONGOUS!
Idk whether I'm exaggerating but yeah.
Had chocalatey buble-la-tea, compared the S's
and the M's, sat down for awesome dessert!
(Baskin and Robin's mango sorbet topped with
gummy bears was awesome on my part;) ) and just
walked our way around:)
After lunch, we shopped again. (Oh and girls,
sorry for the rush, heh.)
Before we all headed back home, we met mum and dad
who were already gathering at the mall's stage
to watch their some sort of dance competition or something.
My Allah, were they the most "wonderful" bunch of dancers
ever. I think even my cute dad could win the trophy hah.
And their group names! Where do they get their names from?!
: So funny, So Very, So blabla.. so so so.
NO, I'm not going to go about what kind of dancing went on
on that stage, trust me, you don't ever want to watch them.
Anyyyywayyyy, we squeezed back in the car and headed home!
Despite all of us being tired from all the shopping
and crappy entertainment, we planned to not
sleep till morning. So what did we do?
WE, ate dinner, cleaned up, sat together and talked
(at some point of time with Brother Sofian - can you believe it?!)
, watched Korean shows AGAIN!(thanks to Dwi and Athirah),
made more crappy videos(OMA FUN FUN!) played
Dwi's game(idk what it's called) and basically
just tried to fill in our sleeping time with stuff we
could find to do. Oh and we watched "The Hangover"!:)
And of course, our plan of making it a sleepless night
was not fully a success as by about 5am, everyone was
sleeping and snoring(heh, identity of the person
snoring remains a mystery ^^, shhhhhhh).
And then came the third and final day of our sleepover!

DAY 3(The day I found out Food Culture
actually sold Japanese food!)

Everyone packed as soon as they woke up and got ready.
They packed for home while I packed for SENTOSA BAYBAY!
Left in the morning to head to Singapore:)
Thank Allah there was no jam:)
Decided to head to Sentosa a bit later and
had lunch, still with the 3:)
Ate Japanese food! I promise, upon salmons,
no, I promise upon salmons AND teriyaki,
the six dollars japanese meal I bought was
DELICIOUS! Only in CCK's Lot One,
While stocks last!:)
After lunch, I headed for soccer and that
marked the end of my wonderful and amazing moments
with the girls during the "getaway":)

I just had to type this awesome experience out
despite it being too long cause I can't bare
losing the memory of us girls just having fun:)
And there you go:)
The most awesome-est "getaway" I have ever had:)
I got no pictures of the trip though.
But I do have those videos mentioned.
It'll all be uploaded on facebook.
As soon as I find my camera. heh.:)

And there you go,
the summary of an experience that was
so Awesome, I can't even describe it anymore.
May there be future sleepovers like this:)

Munira, Dwi and Athirah, may we be
the new "mean girls".
Let's call ourselves "fart girls"
from now on! hahaha! (If you know what I mean^^)

KARI IKAN BAYBAY!

2010-12-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

Hi peepoles!

Today?
Was at home the whole day.
Didn't do anything much really.
What can you do at home besides the norm
of watching tv, eat, sleep etc etc.

------------------------------------

Dear you,
I'll show you that I'm not her.
I prove to you that I won't follow her footsteps.
Just please give me time.
I don't care whether or not she's related
but I'm still not her.
I won't disappoint you, I promise.
PROMISE.
You have my word.
------------------------------------

25th is coming and I can't wait!
Wheeeee~!

Alright, I think it's time.
I'm going to bed.
Gdnight humans.

Salam.

20TH DECEMBER.

2010-12-19T23:26:00.002+08:00

HERE'S AN EARLY WISH FROM ME!

DEAR MAXMAX!
HAPPY 17TH YOU MAJEN!:)
YOU'RE AWESOME(enjoy my compliment while it lasts).
BUT I'M AWESOME-ER( of course)

I hope your wish this year is
to make your dimples to be transfered
to my cheeks instead! heh.

<3 the awesome NUTS.:)

Lethargic.

2010-12-19T22:53:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling so weak.
I can't move a muscle.
Got the worse headache.
Gonna catch a fever soon.
Flu's bugging me.
I'm tired. REALLY tired.
I'm sleepy.
The list goes on.

Buh. So tired from all the
cleaning at home.
Gotta clean up before the BIG DAY
comes:)
Jingle bells, jingle all the way!

Heading to Mandai tmr for
job interview.:/
(Don't even know whether I can
get it with me stuck with all of
these situations.)

OKAY GDNIGHT.

2010-12-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

Is. Always. There. He.

Get Ready.

2010-12-18T21:32:00.002+08:00

It's kicking in real soon.
You better get ready for the
storm you're about to face cause
it's not gonna be a pretty sight
at all. It's NEVER a pretty
sight really.
UGH.

Today?
Went out with Dwi and Afiqah.
Had to meet Freakky before she flies
of to UK(tradition eh Freak?)
Watched Rapunzel (or whatever the
movie name is).
Awesome. Hanged out for a lil bit.
Headed home.

Enjoy your time there Freak!
Come back safe!

Not going tmr.
What kind of a person am I?
ugh.

YOU! Not you, you.
Wow. You've changed.
Just changed. :(
This is sad.

I hate shortcuts.
Just hate them.

2 minus the rest.

2010-12-17T14:23:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt that sometimes,
you wanna say something but you're just
afraid of what the outcome may be?
You're afraid of what the other person
might say or whether they're going to
judge you for the small little things
that you say.
I have that problem.
Let's call it the
haveitinyourmindbutyoujustcantsay-syndrome.

I do it most of the time and I'm getting
sick of it. Thing is, I want it to go away but
I just don't know how to.

Scenario:
I have something inside of me that's been
bugging me and I need to share this with someone.
Or in particular, that person. (not really particular)
When I start the conversation, it goes really well.
However, when I'm near to saying what I really wanted
to say, somehow I just back off and chicken out and
tend to just either change the subject or
twist the whole story around.

Sometimes I wonder where I get this from.
This 'syndrome' never comes in handy
whenever I need to share something with
someone. NEVER.
I'll always start good, then end badly.

I just wish that this will go away soon.
Or things might just end badly. :(
Allah, please help me.

Nadz.

Eyebags.

2010-12-16T23:42:00.003+08:00

ARGH! I'm so tired!

Anyyywayyyy!
On Wednesay, went to play bowling
at CSC with everyone plus
FARZANAH (missing her already)
Everyone = Farhan Afiq, Maxine, Ralph,
Sara, Johar and Shafiq.
Then I had to leave for socce trg.
The rest went to Somerset to watch
rapunzel:( Sad I never get to watch.

Today?
Lunch with Mr.Pres.
Soccer training.
Took the long route to town.:(
Had "mini" dinner.
Headed home.
kay dah cukup.

Too tired to think and type.
Sorry. heh.

If only you knew what I really meant.
:(

Nadz, Salam.

MWAH!

2010-12-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hi hi! Okay so I'm rushing against
time cause I really need to be
getting ready for tmr and sleep
by now.

Oh oh, just now dad called me from
the family room, i went out of my room
and coincidentally he was otw to my room,
we nearly kissed.
Know why?
Cause he's the same height as me and
idk. I looked at his cute surprised face and
he looked at mine. (You should see his
face, damn cute!)
we both laughed. HA. HA. HA.

Alright, I really should sleep now.
Oh my! Bro just sleep talked again.
"mer mer mer" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cuteboy92.

kay kay byeeee!

Tulang all the way!

2010-12-14T22:18:00.004+08:00

Okayy, this was suppose to be
posted up yesterday but apparently,
it was not:(
I HAD THE BEST SUP TULANG LIKE EVER!
Dad made it.(Wonder why he was such
in a good mood to make for us dinner:/)

As you can see, the tulang was DAMN BIG!
Yummy as well^^

Sorry for my ugly face and dad's
cute and hungry face.

Okay, will post again later.
No promises just saying.

:)

The Library.

2010-12-13T15:09:00.004+08:00

IN

THE

LIBRARY

Yezz hello people!
Currently in the library now doing
some stuff.
Yes, alone. Ugh, how boring.
(But it's not that bad being alone) heh.

Anywayyyy.
Intended to go to the Library
and study today but guess what?
I forgot to bring my pencil box. :((
Damn sad.

Luckily, I have my lappy with me.
At least that gives me something
to do.

Where are youuuuuuuu????
:((((

Salam.

Let's get back on track.

2010-12-12T23:56:00.002+08:00

Don't you just melt?
-----------------------------------------------------

If you're given an opportunity,
live up to it. Don't waste it like
what I did. You're going to regret
every single bit of it.
Even when you're going around telling
people you're okay with it or you're strong
enough to handle it, truth is, we're
still affected somehow. Yes we are.
But I keep repeating the phrase that we
often her nowadays,
"Life still has to go on".
Cause that's the only way I can move on
and realise that it's never too late.
This can be referred to anything at all
really.

ANYYYYYWAAAYYYY!
How was your day people?
Nothing special happened today for me
really. Stayed at home and did the norm.
Like I said nothing special happened.
Oh oh wait! I just need to say this.
This afternoon, I had the best no wait,
THE BEST banana fritters (goreng pisang)
ever! This one is far different from any
that you've ever tasted before.
Firstly, even when looking at it, you just
feel ahhhhhhh!

It had the most beautiful golden brown crust,
topped with the crunchy bits of the batter on
top of it to give it the most crunchiest texture
ever. Then when you pick it up, it's perfectly
hot just the way it should be to a temperature
where you just won't burn your hands.
Your first bite of it would just be the most
amazing moment ever. You can literally hear the
crunchiness of the fritter on the outside but
when your teeth sinks into the middle of the
soft and sweet banana, it feels so gooood.
When it enters your mouth, the banana just melts
and gives the taste of sweetness and wonderment.
It keeps me wanting more.
And thing is it's instant! haha! Yes! Instant.
Won't tell you where I got it but it's just
delicioso!
OkaaayyyY! Enough about food.

I think I'm addicted to the song
One in a million - Ne-yo
and the only exception - paramore.
I just can't stop listening to it.
I will even sing the songs before I
go to bed. (Yes BOTH) Haha of course then after
I would say my prayers. heh.
But still it's insanely taking over my brain!
You should see the MVs. Ne-yo dance moves were just
so impressive although I had a tinge that he might have
followed MJ's style. Go see!
Oh! and Paramore's MV was so touching I suppose.
Go go!

Hmm, it's currently 12.20am and I can't sleep
at all. I can't close my eyes (I think it's prolly the
songs ahah!) Need sleep cause I'll prolly
be in the lib tmr studying. :/ heh.
Anw, I think imma log off from the social networking
sites soon and prolly watch some programmes on the tele.

Roses are red,
Violets are Blue,
Why am I drooling over Zac Efron's hotness,
at 12.22?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Brother just spoke in his sleep,
He said, " Can I have two?"
(I Promise!) HAHAHA!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Go listen to one in a million,
the only exception too!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Maybe the reason to why I can't sleep,
is because Im missing you.:(

Salam.

YOU.

2010-12-11T22:58:00.002+08:00

Ever had a feeling when you look at
someone's photo and suddenly
your heart's racing and you just
want more of it?
I have! A few moments ago,
I went over a few pics and OMA!
Ahhh! I won't tell you who though,
private! But don't fix up any assumptions
on the pictures. They're all clean;)

Anw, this person had the most amazing eyes
matched with a wonderful smile.
If you're thinking it's a girl,
please I'm straight.
If you're thinking it's a guy,
please I'm not interested.
But what pulled my attention most to this
person was that she/he just had this aura.
I don't know what kind of aura but yea.
I promise you if you look at those pics,
you'll prolly be like AHHHHHH:))
Girl or guy!

Okay enough already.

Currently chatting with two mangkuks
gone crazy. (Dwi & Athirah)

Today was a great day I suppose.
Everything went smoothly and no
disappointments at all. Alhamdulillah!

Oh oh I have got to share this with you!
Recently, mum brought home 5 jars or
jelly beans. My Allah! they were so
wonderful! 2 Jars gone in two days.
It melts in your mouth like never before
I promise. If you wanna taste some of these
wonderful jelly beans, tell me! It's awesome,
I promisee!

Okay, I think I'm going to have to sleep
in the living room today since Bro's snoring on
my bed right now. Buh.
Nope. I'm not gonna sleep in his room. NEVER.
HAHAH!

Oh oh oh! I can't wait for the sleepover
on the 25th! ARGHHHHHH!! :))

Alright, goodnight.
Wash your legs before bed okay!
(Now I sound like my mum)

Salam.
(Still missing you :( )

Midnight chats.

2010-12-11T02:21:00.004+08:00

It's always good to talk about the
past to someone. Though talking about the
past may hurt us in a way, it helps
us move forward. We get to laugh at the
wonderful moments, learn of what
we did wrong and most of all, compare
between what we have now and what we had
then.

My past has been filled with amazing moments,
heart-breaking experiences, wonderful memories
and everything that has caused me to be the
person I am today.

I would always wish that I could relive the
happy moments and leave out on the bad ones.
In reality, none of that is possible.
So what do we do?
We seek for the better in the future.
And that's what I'm going to do from now on.
Cherish every moment that's happening presently,
before it becomes the past and wait for more
unpredictable experiences in the future.

Forget the past.
Live the present.
The future awaits.

Today I had one of the best chats ever,
with you. <3

Salam.

Roses and Violets.

2010-12-09T22:40:00.002+08:00

Was re-reading my previous blog
posts and came up to
the posts where I posted poems
to friends. HAH!
I was LOL(especially Freakky's part!)
:)

OMA! This makes me miss those
bimbos more!:(
Nevermind, imma meet them soon cause
there's gonna be a SLEEPOVER (does the
chicken dance!)!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Okay, I'm so missing you right now:(
This just sucks.

Bye.

Baby Fever.

2010-12-09T21:58:00.002+08:00

Don't you just melt when you
get near a baby?
You just feel like pinching their
cheeks so hard until you feel satisfied.
Babies, with their over-sized pampers
in their pants and the way they walk.
Ahh, so adorable.

Wonder why I'm in baby fever?
Cause during training, the cutest guy
ever came down.
Gerrard! (Mr. Ram's cute little son)
With his full Liverpool outfit, high socks,
and cute little Nike shoes the size of a
computer mouse! HAH! Did I say he was adorable?
That cute little guy made smiles happen
all around him. He's just so CUTE.

Yea, you should have guessed what I did today.
Had training at 3pm and headed home straight
after. Whole body's aching right now.
Wondering whether I should head down
to the library tomorrow or just rest at home.
Hmm?

Everyone's tired.
Mum's sleeping wayyyy before her normal sleeping
time. Dad's yawning while watching the news and
eating asam to wake himself up.
Brother slept through the whole afternoon. (WOAH)
Oh yea, speaking of Sofian, Please do vote for him
for his NP band competition please.
Go to my wall and click the link.
Your vote is much appreciated!:)
okay terima kasih.

OH OH OH!
FARZANAH'S COMING HOME!
AND BY HOME I MEAN SINGAPORE!
EVERYONE YAY!
YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!
CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!
:))))))
My CHBFF, finally back from Australia!
<3

Don't think I'm going for the movie with
4E1 peeps tmr. 3 things:
1. I'm broke.
2. It's too late.
3. I'm just tired.

Okay, maybe cause I'm so bored, I'll post more
later.

kdahbye.
Salam.

Boots, go-karts and girls.

2010-12-07T21:40:00.002+08:00

Today, was one of the most awesome-est
day I've ever encountered.
Everything went well for me since the
start of the day:)

The soccer girls and I went to WCP
to have a farewell party for the seniors.
Since I only joined the CCA since a few
weeks ago, I don't really know many of the
seniors at all. However, despite this,
I had an awesome time because they were
all so very welcoming. Even from the very
first moment I stepped into the CCA.

Anw, we had matches, played a game sorta like
charades, had pot-luck lunch and just purely
enjoyed ourselves:)
It was a great stress reliever really:)

I was so tired that I decided to skip the
deeeessseeeerrrttttt part of the day with the rest.
So went to Woodlands and meet love for after soo sooo
looooooonnngggggggg!
Then headed straight to the customs:(
(The life of a teenager living across the border:( )

Had tom yam kuey teow for dinner:)
The bombzxz!

Okay, I'm so shacked right now.
Heading to bed soon.
heh.

Alright, keep being awesome people!
Love you all!

Salam.

Past and present.

2010-12-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I went through some
photo albums. Boy, did they
make me think about the past!
It's just so interesting how everything
changed so quickly without us even realising
it.

Yes, without a doubt, I miss the past.
The time when I thought everything was perfect.
Truth is nothing is perfect.
Even now.

I just miss those times when we could
talk like nothing mattered.
Those times when we were the best of friends.
Those times when I had many reponsibilities.
Those times when I enjoyed everyday of my
school days.
Those times when I know I had the best
teachers ever.
:'(

I don't know why talking about the past
makes me tear all so much.
It's probably both the good and bad.
Cause without them, I don't think I'll
even be me.

A few hours ago, a friend of mine
asked me this,
"If you could compare the past and present,
which one would you prefer more?"
I promised you, _________ that I'd answer your
qns. So here goes.

My past has been both great and disappointing
at the same time.
My present however, has made me far more different
than who I was before.
Honestly speaking, I don't like who I am
now. I loved who I was before, always so
carefree and happy.
BUT, that doesnt mean that I love the
past more than the present.
Yes, I wish to turn back time and be who I
was before but I don't want to knowing that
presently, I have made great achievements and
friends who I can really count on.
It's complicated really.

So people, I've got one qns for you,
"If you could choose between the past and present,
which would you pick to live in?"

Let's marathon up!

2010-12-05T21:26:00.002+08:00

Today, I experienced my first
real race:)
The soccer girls and I took part
in the Standard Chartered Marathon for
the 10km run.

The whole place was packed with
runners of different races and nationality.
The atmosphere was close to intense and
I was so excited for the race to start.
Ran together with Nabilah for the whole
of the race. Non-stop action for a whole
of 8km.

The last 2km was the most toughest to conquer.
It was dreadful and all I felt was to just
walk to the finishing line.
But somehow, running to the finishing line
was just something that was aimed for
since the start.

The day was just awesome. :)
After lunch, headed down to Abby's
place to visit her. She was involved
in a car accident. Poor Abby:(
The visit was sorta a mini "deepavali"
HAHAHAH! kk, nvm.

Headed home early as my body was
literally aching all over!
Reached home and I took the best bath ever!
Didn't even have the energy to eat dinner
but apparently, I was forced to by mum.

ANYWAY!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO,

ABANG NADZRI IN BEING __ YEARS OF AGE!
(don't ask for reasons concerning the blank spaces)

ANDDDDDDD

DADDY DEAREST IN BEING 64 YEARS OF AGE!
(yes, 64, like they say , old and wise^^)

I think Imma rest at home tomorrow.
Can't wait for the farewell party
on Tuesday! West Coast Babayyy!!:)

Okay, I can't stop yawning now.
So I believe I need to head for
the bed!:)
One night of not sleeping in my bed was
enough to make me miss it!
Alright peepos!
Gdnight and sweetdreams.

P.S, tmr is the New Year in the Islamic calender.
So do what you're suppose to okay people.
At the end of the day, HE is to be prioritized.

Salam.

Extraordinary Eleven.

2010-12-01T12:40:00.004+08:00

Hello hello people!
I've not been posting up recently.
Sorry.

Updates?
I'll just tell you about yesterday:)
Sooooooooooo,
Yesterday, The fantastic five ,
(Sara, Farhan Afiq, Ralph, Maxine and I)
went over to Farah's place to surprise
her in occasion to her eleventh birthday!
It was a great feeling having to
make someone smile on her own birthday:)
Oh man, how I wish I could relive my eleventh.
Things were so ... free and ... less complicated.

Anw, had an awesome time celebrating little
Farah's special day. Made videos, had a song
session, ate cake, ate food and all those
awesome stuff:)

Hope you like the presents and surprise
cutie:)

Right, so now I'm resting at home
trying to recover my fever and flu and what not
by tonight. There's soccer training
tomorrow and I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Idk, it's just so fun and exciting once it comes
to training. I get to be myself. Yea thats it.

Mum and dad's sick too:(
That sucks.
Not sending dad to the docs today cause apparently,
everyone's too sick:/

Once upon a time, there were three bears.
Mama bear, papa bear and lil bear ( haha 'lil and
cute ^^). They were so sick that they had to
rest at home for the whole day. Then, aofbw24973
haha to heck with the story.
We're just sick people that needs rest okay?

My nose is killing me.
My back hurts as hell!
Nowadays, my eyesight is getting
really bad too.
One moment everything is clear,
next thing I know, it's so blurr.:/

Okay, gonna find something
to do that doesnt need so much energy.

Will post later.
(or not heh)

Salam.

The Deathly Hallows!

2010-11-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!
First of all, sorry for not keeping
up to my promise of posting the other
night, was just tired.:/ heh.

What did I do today?
Technically yesterday.

Had an awesome day with Mr.FAJ!<3
Watched Harry Potter and the Deathly
Hallows Part 1 and it was AWESOME!
Unknowingly, we bumped into Ralph, Max,
Atiqah and Randon.:)
Then went to meet Sara and bus-ed our
way to CSC to BOWL baybay!
AND NADZ'S SCORE WAS A TOTAL OF:
139! :)
Okay it's bad but still improved^^

Headed home and my family and I
dined in at PIZZA HUT~ (sings the theme song)
Ate till we were bloated!:)

So tmr, Imma head down to cineleisure to
watch HP & the Deathly Hallows Part 1 again
but this time with Brother Sofian!
Planning to head to town to shop
and have some family time!:)

OMG! Can't wait for tmr! YAY!
Finally town, here I come! hehe^^

Afiq, I'm loving the shoes:)
Thank you x 1 million!
<3!

Salam.

On the 22nd. (Monday)

2010-11-24T18:28:00.003+08:00

It was the Sultan's (Johor)
Birthday!
Also, on that day,
I had awesome fun with
Afiq, Ralph and Sara!
Also with Ralph's mum!

We planned to go shopping at JB which
we did!
I was suppose to be their tour guide
but I don't think I did a good
job at all! Haha!

Anw, shopping at City Square
mall with them was AWESOME!

Ate Ben and Jerry's ice cream, ate more
ice cream, bought stuff (what would shopping
be then?) and well just enjoyed ourselves:)
Oh and we ate at Seasons which is kinda like
Swensens in Singapore cause the food and menu
are most likely similar. Yea.
Thank you Aunty (inserts name) (sorry Ralph,
I forgot your mum's name that's why I just
called her Aunty..... the whole time!).

So yea, will update more on the past days
later at night (insya'allah).
Right now imma fetch mum and Brother Sofian
with dad and have dinner!

Okay, love you people!

Salam.

Nothing else matters.

2010-11-20T22:25:00.003+08:00

(L)

Was there ever a time when
you just feel calm and collected?
When you feel that nothing else matters
except for the one that's standing right
in front of you.
When you know that you're happy and
nothing is wrong at all.
I felt that tonight.
I felt secured and just happy.

Seeing his smile really made my night.
No, just seeing him makes my night.
The way he talks, walks, smile
and everything else is just so perfect.
He makes me feel so calm that sometimes I can't
even stop smiling to myself.

Right now I'm just grateful.
Speechless. I can't fully explain
this wonderful feeling inside of me.
I pray that this feeling will never go away.
<3

I love you, no doubt.

Nadz.

Let's KFC!

2010-11-20T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today turned out really well:)
Alhamdulillah!
What did I do today?

So, Dwi, Athirah, Munira and I
planned to meet up at FCC's KFC
outlet to catch up on things.
Why FCC's KFC outlet?
Cause Dwi said it brings back memories
of when we were in Fuchun Sec. Hah!:)
Ah, those days:)
So we sat and talked and took crazy pictures
from 1.30 to 7.30.
But by 7 plus, the only people left were
Athirah and me. Enjoyed myself talking to
Athirah. It's always good to have someone
to listen to you and to know that
you're lending a listening ear too!:)

After that, headed down to Marsiling
station to meet FAJ.
Walked to marsiling.
Although it was a short walk I had
the best 15 mins walk ever:)
Nothing beats having to talk to someone
you love:)

So now I'm here getting ready for my
How I met your mother series marathon!:))
Currently at season 4!:)
If those How I met your mother fans
are wondering who I like best in the series,
I love Barney and Robin!
Barney for his confident yet comical character.
And Robin for her perspective that brings the
show to a whole new level.

Alright, gdnight lovely people.

Salam, Nadz.

Sensitivity.

2010-11-20T10:46:00.002+08:00

As clearly as my blog posts show it,
I'm without a doubt, a very
sensitive person. Even the slightest of
things affect me. My level of sesitiveness
is as high as the peak of Mount E.
This part of me really sucks cause it
always causes problems for me and
the people around me. Sometimes, I just
wish to be less sensitive about small little
things.

Yesterday, I made a very huge mistake of letting
my feelings conquer myself and the actions
I made. The consequence - I made a close friend
feel really bad and down. I promise, with
all my heart that I regretted every single bit
of my act. No words can describe how
remourseful I feel. I am so sorry.

Ugh! How stupid can I be right?
I just hope things will still be the same
soon enough cause I don't wanna lose anything
or change anything. Everything was perfect
the way it should be but apparently, I had to
be the cause of this mess.

I don't know whether you'll read this or not
but I hope you do know that I am utterly sorry.
I promise next time I won't relate this small-of-
a-deal to something else. I promise. Just please
hear me out. I don't want anything to change.
I still want things to be the way it should be
and I still want things to be as close
as it was. I am sincerely sorry. You may
be mad at me, idk but I just hope you do know
that I regret every single bit of it.
I was stupid and insensitive towards your feelings.
I'm sorry.:(

.

Eid Mubarak!

2010-11-17T09:23:00.003+08:00

<3

Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all
those humble muslims out there!:)
May today be as joyful as it should
be and a memorable one!

Oh and Athirah, guess what?
During Hari Raya Haji, we sembeleh
both lembu AND kambing!
So lembing and kambu it should be!:)
hehe!^^

Anw, apologies for not posting
these few days. Had a packed schedule
of work, school, training and life.

Just got my appeal results and
it was successful. Alhamdulillah.

What else what else.
I'm loving what my life is offering me now.
I'm loving this change that I'm going through.
I'm loving what this has made me.
I'm loving almost everything I'm given.

I've taken the thought to throw all those
stupid assumptions away and just go with the
flow. If it means not making things worse,
I'll do it:) I mean, it's all about looking
at things in a positive way. In that, nothing
wrong will happen!:)

So far my Hari Raya Haji '10 is going great!
What's more to add if you have your family
celebrating together with you? Plus
the amazing dishes in the kitchen! hahaha!

Alright, won't waste my meaningful day on
the net. Gonna log off soon!

Right now, I'm loving everyone I see:)

Lastly, this is for you.

2010-11-09T21:19:00.002+08:00

I can find only one word
to describe you.
Perfect.

I promise,
you're like my dream guy
turned into reality.
You're everything I've ever wished for.

Of course, love is blind.
But thing is, I'm not saying these
stuff about you just because I'm with you,
I'm saying this because I really mean it.

No one is perfect, of course.
But for me, you're perfect in my eyes.
Everything I wished and prayed for came true.

I just hope that this is no just a dream
that we're floating on, it's reality.

I love you.

This goes to you.

2010-11-09T21:02:00.002+08:00

I've been in more worse situations
compared to this.
I won't change my attitude towards you
cause well, you're a human and you're
still my friend.
But what you did, made me realise
that sometimes, even though someone
may show himself as a person who is
trustworthy of your trust, they may
not necessarily be.

I have nothing else to say about you.
I'll just pray that things will go
easy for you.

Fullstop

Down Town East.

2010-11-09T20:47:00.002+08:00

UHUH! You guessed it!
On Monday, Sebastian had a
chalet organised and yep I went!:)
It was kinda last minute though.
I knew about it only a day before and
on the day itself Shreedhya and mum
had a conversation together on the phone!:)
Thanks to Shreedhya, I could go!:))

Yadayadayada!
The chalet was awesome!
What's more better than having to spend
a whole night with great friends and special
ones<3!

Straight from Pasir Ris which was on one end
of Singapore, I went to school to attend
soccer training!
It was GREAT and AWESOME!
After training headed to mama shop to eat
with Dulcie, Eunice and Nabilah.
And since I had loads of time, all of us
went down to City Hall and accompanied Dulcie
and her look-alike sister to get
Dulcie her first set of jeans in 10 years!

These two days were great days!
I really enjoyed myself:)

But now, I gotta get some sleep cause
my eyes are so tired!!!

Salam.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

2010-11-07T22:17:00.002+08:00

True that! (to the title I mean)
This morning, I had a great breakfast
with my family.
I realised that even with just
toast and a cup of cocoa, you can
have the best family breakfast
ever. And the best part of this is having
great conversations with each other.

Okay, enough of breakfast already,
I'm feeling hungry:/
Starving actually!

Started off the morning with chores
that has been dragged for weeks and weeks!
Had THE BEST asam pedas ever for lunch!
(Guess who cooked^^)
Slept through half of the afternoon.
Watched How I met your mother till 9pm
on my bed. HAH! It's awesome as shitzxzs!
And now I'm here searching the ways of how
to get to Hougang Primary School because I'm
posted there for work tmr! heh.
Yea, so that's about it for today I guess.

OMA! I'm missing you as hell.:(

Oh and when I was going through my
drawers today, I saw a note that I wrote
months ago. No like really, months and months
agooooo.

It wrote," If I had one wish, I'd not wish for us
to be together but instead wish for us to be meant
for each other. In that, I'll know that even though
I'm not with you, I still know that somewhere
in that heart of yours, lies a small space.
A small little space that fits me
in perfectly."

And now, part of that wish came true.
But even better, now I have you.:) <3

With that, salam.

The box that influences.

2010-11-06T22:51:00.004+08:00

Oh, and my television
is spoilt. So no entertainment
except for the lappie.:(

Aww man, no more CSI for a whole
week:((
No more Hannah Montana:(
No more HBO:(
No more Cinemax:(
No more Star Movies:(
No more OPRAH:(
NO more Sonny With a Chance:(
No more Malaysia Dramas :))))
No more Malaysia News :)))))

Next week, please come fast.
I wanna watch TV again! :/

Waterfront.

2010-11-06T22:10:00.002+08:00

For a relationship to work well,
both sides must be able to
communicate well with each other.
Share every hidden secret, be truthful,
never hesitate to tell the other one
how you feel anytime anywhere because
those may be the moments which will
be hard to be erased.

I'm glad I told you what I needed
to tell you. I hope you understand how I
feel. It's not easy trying to express out
what I felt deep inside, it explains
why it took half an hour of silence before
I said anything.

Whatever obstacles we face, I hope we are
able withstand it together. I have nothing
kept inside already.
All is said.
Alhamdulillah.

I'm missing you.

Salam.

The after-effect.

2010-11-05T21:26:00.002+08:00

Spent most of the day out
with my family today. Needed time
to run away from all the shit that's happening
in this brain of mine. Apparently,
I was wrong. The problems just kept
on playing on my mind:/

I don't know what's gonna happen.
I'm just gonna blurt the truth out to you.
I can't keep this in no longer.
I need my freedom of speech this time.
And I need you to understand.

Reasonable or not, it involves feelings.
My feelings.
So hear me out this time since usually,
I insist of not telling you.

I'm waiting for tomorrow to come.
Dear Allah, help me in this?

Salam.

On the fourth.

2010-11-05T00:44:00.001+08:00

Today(technically ytd) was my first day attending
soccer training and I felt like
it wasn't something I was dragged to
do, it's something that really made
my day.

After training rushed to Woodlands
to meet Munira, Athirah, Dwi and Freak.
Talked and catched up on things.
It was great fun, having to meet
friends who has been there for you for
years and years. Cause eventually, they
know you best.:)

Btw, today was the last day of school.
The last day:
For me to enjoy being classmates with the people
in 10A4.
For me to be able to sit with them as a class
in a classroom.
For me to enjoy the company of great friends in
10A4.
For me to have the opportunity to be called
their classmates.

Next year's something that I am looking
forward to. It's a year of change, Insya'allah.

Salam.

Backstab.

2010-10-30T01:23:00.002+08:00

At the mention of your name,
my mood totally went down.

I don't understand the point of
you doing this to me and everyone else.
It's like your mind is full of negative
thoughts about everyone but yourself.
You pretend to be on both sides. Yes,
PRETEND. And when a conflict appears,
you chicken your way out saying you have
nothing to do with it.

You spread rumors about everyone.
You change a perspective of a person
just to get back to the other person.
What is it that you are not satisfied
with?

My friendship with you was true.
I forgot all that you did because I thought
you changed. So I thought.
It's very disappointing to hear it from
someone else.

Why am I so sensitive about this?
Cause I really treasured our friendship.
And you had to ruin it.
This is just so disappointing.

I went through all those tough
moments with you and I deserve this?
I'm not asking for credibility on my side
but at least treasure our friendship.
I'm not saying I'm a wonderfully perfect
friend myself but at least I treasure friendships
enough to know that this should not be happening.

I'm sad, disappointed and mad.
This is just so backfiring.

Well, I can't do anything to help you anymore.
What for if you don't even treasure this?
Imma put my hands down on this.
I just wish you all the best if this continues.

:'(

Let's stay strong.

2010-10-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

I have the best parents in the
world. I'm not just saying this,
I really really mean it.

I need to stay strong for myself.
I cannot repeat the same mistake again.
I need to change, this time I really
NEED to.
I cannot afford to disappoint anymore
people. :'(
They might think low of me already.
But I'll just have to persevere on.
It's better to fail now than in the future.
This is just a phase in my life that I have
to overcome.
I've made too many mistakes in my life.
I keep telling myself that I wanna change but
I tend to lose track and focus.
I have to make this work for me.
I really have to.

Friends,
please do help me in this.
I need all the help that I can get from you.
I'm not giving up just yet.
I need motivation, I need you people.

Let's stay strong.
Salam.

Yah, everything's going perfectly fine.

2010-10-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

I've been staring at this
screen for almost an hour now and
still don't have a clue on how to
portray what I feel inside.

I don't even think I can express
it out verbally.

I don't know whether I should be happy,
sad or mad or whatever.
No really, I'm serious.

No, I'm not gonna lie and say that I am
having the best life ever now.
Truth is, I'm not.
But please don't get me wrong.
I wanna explain further but I'm lost for words.

Oh and yah I got a job.
So that's it. Boring life as usual.(Don't get me
wrong about this either)

I now officially sound like an emo-freako.
Idc. But I know I'm not stupid enough to
waste my time thinking of suicidal poems and stuff.
Kay now I'm just crapping.

I think I need rest.

Bye.

Salam,
from this human who is purely
going through the routines of life.

Clear-my-mind day.

2010-10-21T22:09:00.003+08:00

Today I gave school skip and rested
at home. Exams are over anyway.
I know it's not suppose to be a reason
for me to skip school but sometimes
everybody needs a rest too.

So I kinda just purely rested today.
Didn't do much.
Tried to not think of anything much
either. Which brings us to the point of
why I call today "clear-my-mind" day.

Didn't really text/called anyone today.
I don't know where i put my phone actually.
Yah.

Since I cleared most of what's in my mind,
I got nothing to say really.
Night then.

ITOY.

Salam,
From the girl who thinks that,
friends are like apples in a basket.
There are some rotten ones and then there
are some which are as juicy as it can be.

No one's perfect.

2010-10-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

Today, I had a convo with Fzn.
Our convo made me realise that
sometimes, we tend to forget
the people that made a difference
in our lives. Sometimes, because of
a busy schedule we don't have the time
to ask the other person on whether or not
they are fine and alright.

By this, we can see whether or not
the person is someone who you can
really regard to as a great friend
or just someone who just comes in your life
and then goes on like any other normal people do.

I admit, I can't be categorised as a "great friend"
and most of the time, I fall under the second
column. To all my friends, I promise to
try and change and try to get to be a "great friend"
but I won't promise that it WILL happen.
But I'll try.

Yah, okay.
Enough blabbering already.

Salam.

YNOH.IKI.IOYK.

2010-10-20T22:59:00.002+08:00

I feel like typing everything
that's on my mind out.
But yknow what, I won't bother.

This just sucks.
Reality sucks.
Feelings and emotions suck.

I'm tired.
I'm lonely.
I'm sick.
I'm feeling miserable.
I'm disappointed.
I'm mad.
I'm confused
I'm guilty.
I'm too sensitive.
I'm at the verge of crying.
I could go on, yet again, I won't
bother to.
No one's gonna understand what's
in this head of mine.
It's a place that no one would wish
to even go to.

iubfuowebgfsalfnjmsd[gnulgpsdof hcduighmiahr j
jfh[owbugxcodu xfncmgaxfh odufhx odfh x
bdfousbxv dfohucxmfxioahsdm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_#)@#*&y)#*Y)@#Y#)*y@)y@#
!#)*Y($&T@(#&t@#*T#@*)!!!!

ugh.

no good night today.
Cause it's a terrible one.

Bye.
From this human who just wishes to
shut everything down.

Aimed wrongly, cause I'm missing you.

2010-10-17T01:17:00.001+08:00

Ugh. i'm just lazy and sick to post
anything right now.

Had gastric yesterday. Don't wanna ever
talk about it. :((

Lately, I've been playing a lot of
Sims 3 to make me distracted.
My brain's not functioning well, only
god knows why:(

Aunts came over today.
Just came back a few hours ago from
Singgah Selalu (JB). It was okay i guess.

And I just found out from Mr.Fadzil that
I really have to go for the first-aid
course thingy on Monday to Wednesday.
That'll take all my time to join my class
for post-exam activities which will really
suck!:((
Allah please:( I don't wanna go for the first-aid
thing again. I've been through this
already:(((((((

Okay so now I got a choice of
going to hockey or floorball.
I don't even know which to choose now:/
Ugh.

IWTSYN!:(

Salam,
From the girl who wishes that life was
like The Sims 3, with cheat codes,
you can do almost anything.